I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My cat gives me a boner
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
