STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize