**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
