jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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