something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
