Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
