I hate all girls vehemently.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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