This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
