Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
