I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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