I'm going to jail i love you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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