direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
