it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
