the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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