I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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