He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
