your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
