She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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