i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
