K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize