just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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