Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
