saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
