The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
