During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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