I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Randomize