i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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