Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
