Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
