i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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