That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize