You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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