Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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