Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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