so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
