Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
