moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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