You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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