Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
