Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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