she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
