At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
