have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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