how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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