it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize