ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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