Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
