Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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