just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
