I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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