I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
