I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
