Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
