HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
