Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
