he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
