guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
