u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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