either way he was missing a nipple.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
