what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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