It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
