So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
