It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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