no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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